Basic bitch season means one thing, their holiday is coming up.
Search Results for: Fuck Shit Up
Stop the presses
The two Ferris students who gave new meaning to the initials “FSU” have recently been persuaded by the university to stop printing the controversial T-shirts. Randall Cowell and Justin Gauthier, […]
After two long years, Riley Blair finds her voice
Editor’s note: the following story contains graphic details of sexual assault. Two years and three months have gone by since Riley Blair lost her sense of safety. A year and […]
Tire Fire Confessions
Honestly, fuck birds! Like, what are they for? They don’t do anything. They just strut around doing that weird head thing all the time. And when they’re not doing that, […]
Twitter tirade
The Ferris decision to switch from Gmail to Outlook drew an irate reaction from Ferris Student Government President Preston Wimberly, who in a shocking turn of events has taken to […]
SATIRE: Off the record
Test Torture Oct. 27, 3:14 p.m., A finance professor schedules a test on Halloween like a fucking monster. Why are you like this? Who hurt you?? RIP Pike’s table Oct. […]
SATIRE: Interview with a zombie
Q: So, tell me a little bit about yourself. A: Well first off, I’m fucking dead, if you haven’t noticed. My name is St. Jimmy, but you can call Brain […]
SATIRE: Horror-Scopes
Aries: March 21- April 19. Get out now, while you still can Taurus: April 20-May 20 You will change your major six times until you settle on one that you […]
In memoriam
Harley – El Editor del News 1996 – 2018 In the most tragic, horrifying and pleasingly ironic event of the year, Harley, 21, died in a motorcycle accident 11:11 p.m., […]