Breaking Up

A month of rest and relaxation turns to insanity

by Published: Jan 16, 2013

Winter break this year seemed extra­or­di­nar­ily long.

With my finals wrap­ping up early, I had an entire month off to be in the wilder­ness of free­dom and do what other slovenly col­lege kids do on break—forget that I have pants in my wardrobe and rein­vig­o­rate the fail­ing rela­tion­ship I have with my Xbox.

Many of my other col­leagues who attend other uni­ver­si­ties had their breaks cut one or even two weeks short com­pared to Ferris. I play­fully quipped that I didn’t have to wake up on Monday, Jan. 7, when many oth­ers had to return to classes. I also mocked the inabil­ity of oth­ers to frolic in fes­tiv­i­ties dur­ing the week of Dec. 17 through 21.

Break was good to me—or was it? What did that month off do to me? Let’s take a gan­der at why extended breaks aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be through my per­sonal experience.

Week one was absolutely hec­tic and prob­a­bly more emo­tion­ally try­ing than any school week. Why? I got mar­ried at the end of it. It was a great cer­e­mony, blah, blah, blah. Even I’m tired of hear­ing about it by now, but hey, it hap­pened. I’ve been plan­ning this wed­ding for 100 peo­ple for the past year; I didn’t want any­thing to go wrong. On the upside, I did lose 7 pounds this week because of anxiety-induced stress.

Then there were weeks two and three. Unwisely, I took these weeks off for some per­sonal time. I had noth­ing to do but rest and relax. After com­pletely mess­ing up my inter­nal clock by stay­ing up every night—excuse me, morning—until 4:30 a.m. and wak­ing at the crack of noon every day.

Life was great, until I started watch­ing TV. I pay atten­tion to pol­i­tics, but I try not to let it get to me and defer my rage in polit­i­cal deci­sions by remind­ing myself that I have bet­ter things to do, like home­work and actual work. However, I learned that home­work and work­ing were just crutches hold­ing me up.

Once I sat on my fat rump for a cou­ple of days, I found myself incensed about the right to work issue that passed under a lame-duck con­gress, the war on women’s rights and the fact that I will now have to leave the state of Michigan if I want to receive equal pay for equal work.

I got all hot and both­ered about this, and what made it worse were the six left­over half-gallons of liquor from my wed­ding recep­tion. So there I was in my sweat pants, dip­ping Swedish pep­parkakors into spiked eggnog and scream­ing about inequal­ity from my couch while my new-fangled hus­band looked on in sor­did hor­ror at the mess he’d just got­ten him­self into. This car­ried on for approx­i­mately 480 hours until I had suc­cess­fully watched every­thing on Hulu and Netflix.

Week four snuck up on me like a creepy man who hangs out in the dark cor­ners of a bar and approaches you just as you’ve downed your fifth cocktail.

I awoke from my eggnog stu­por to find that the hon­ey­moon was over and work had returned—thank the gods. On a list of things I learned over the semes­ter hia­tus, the num­ber one thing was that I need to keep busy. When I run out of things to do I start think­ing, and when I start mix­ing think­ing with drink­ing I turn into a very crazy per­son who inaus­pi­ciously trolls polit­i­cal web­sites at 4 a.m. and knits anime-inspired hats.

So, while return­ing to the cyclic rela­tion­ship of school, work and sleep is a hor­ri­fy­ing prospect to many, I myself am happy to be back in the swing of things and so too I fathom are the many, many peo­ple who had to tol­er­ate my boredom-induced insan­ity this win­ter break. Ferris, it’s good to see you again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dustin.baker.125 Dustin Baker

    Outside your wed­ding I’m sure you just basi­cally described everyone’s win­ter break, every­where, ever…

  • http://www.facebook.com/steven.neet Steven Neet

    I’m glad you had a good time. And Congratulatons on the nup­tuals! Your hus­band is blessed to have an artic­u­late and out­spo­ken per­son who tells it like it is, or call it the way she sees it. Good luck. I’ll look for you in school–and out here at the Torch!

  • Em

    It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one who needs to keep busy in order to not go crazy! Thanks for shar­ing, you’re not alone in your spiked eggnog stu­por & Netflix accomplishments!